i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
