After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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