whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
