I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
