she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
