I wish i was in the wii world.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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