Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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