someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
