I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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