when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
