He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
