i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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