its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
