The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
