watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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