Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
