I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
