ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
