you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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