do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
