that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
