Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
