and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Found the puke drawer
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
