What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well I just put wine in my tea
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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