im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
