I'm drive I can fine osifer
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
