I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
