So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
