I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
