wat bout pragnant strippers??
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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