I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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