We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
