oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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