Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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