Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
