how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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