So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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