I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
