I wish I only lived at night.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
