there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
