I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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