never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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