At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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