hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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