Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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