i permit you to call me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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