How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
