on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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