whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
