There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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