I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
birth control should be required to get into college
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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